I never really shared this part of my life, but as I was sitting with my husband tonight on this beautiful May evening, I began to realize a few things.
Let's start with where things are now... it is kind of a endless joke (but also a serious issue) that I sometimes get involved with (get ready for my exaggeration) 1,000 activities and hobbies. Sometimes, I don't even finish a project before I start a new one. Let me give you a few examples; several years ago, it was all about running (5K's), as many as I could (I still run, but I just like working out in general), then I bought a sketch pad, started doing some pencil drawings, half way completed a picture of a rose and gave up. I joined an adult softball league one summer (just a suggestion, don't take up softball as an adult on a competitive league when you haven't played since middle school). I started to take up tap dancing again (adult classes), out of all the forms of dance, this is BY FAR my favorite. That lasted 1 year, and a few months the next year. Somewhere in between dancing, running, and drawing, I got really into jewelry making. Although some pieces were nice, it was very time consuming (and costly). I even went through a phase of buying beta fish (all of them died within a week, but I followed all the instructions)! Did I mention I went almost a whole year crocheting and baking away? Yes, there was that phase as well (my inner 80 year old must have been dying to come out).
I am exhausted just typing all the things I have been in to the past few years! This is why it is kind of a running "joke" in our house about me doing all of these "hobbies", Chris says, "Bri, it's always something, how long is this going to last?". Inside, I know he is right, but I want to prove him wrong so bad :)
There is a completely sensible explanation for all of these things (#1- I tend to be a bit of an overachiever) but the main reason is as follows;
At the age of 12 or so, looking back the main environments we (at this age) are involved with are school and home. Our hobbies and activities revolve around these two places (things our parents and family do, and things that are offered to us at school). We don't have a car to drive around, hop to Wal-Mart at 11pm to buy jewelry supplies for our newest hobby, and if our friends aren't into "making jewelry" then we aren't "cool", right? Of course, that is just an example, but let's say we have a 12 year old who goes to school in a large city, spends the weekends with grandma on a large farm and really enjoys farming, which none of his / her friends can relate to... some children are resilient enough to go against the grain, be bold and talk and OWN the fact he / she is into this. Me, not so much...
Here are some things I was really enjoying before age 12: chorus, dance, softball, class field trips. Life was good, I could do what I wanted by just signing up for it (ehh, after my parents paid for the sign up fee :/). At age 12, we hit middle school, when the activities we used to voluntarily be involved in were now selective activities that we had to audition or try out for. Now, don't get me wrong, these experiences that I am about to share, most definitely taught me about life: that we aren't always going to get what we want, we won't always get that dream job we interview for... but at the time, I didn't see it like that...
Two years (not consecutively since musicals were every other year), I auditioned for the school musical, I didn't even so much mind if I sang, I just wanted to be involved somehow, after all, it was dancing that I really loved. Both years, nada.... and I do give myself credit for trying a second time. Next up was softball, I really loved playing little league, and first base was my favorite spot. I could hit all day with my dad in my back yard, and at little league practice.... for some reason, try-outs came, I got a little nervous and probably didn't show them my best. Cut. Volleyball, cut. I would hope and pray for the day I'd actually see my name on a list somewhere, someday, and this wasn't easy on my parents who had to listen to me cry after every unsuccessful attempt. If I wasn't good enough for the middle school sports teams, I was never going to bother trying out in high-school after these girls had all this experience. One year, our middle school French Teacher was going to take a select few students to Quebec, and I thought this would finally be my chance to be involved in something! Nah, I wasn't one of the students selected. After awhile, you realize you are just "average", and that was the only potential I set for myself was to just get through each class, I didn't need a A, a C was good enough for me at this point.
Luckily, my last two years of high-school I was able to find enjoyment with cheerleading, using the dancing that I enjoyed so much, but life really changed and opened my eyes after high school and especially once I lived on my own. It kind of explains why I get involved in a bunch of hobbies, it is because now I have the freedom to do so (kids do too, it's just they don't really realize it :) ). Never, for one second think that you aren't "good enough" just because you didn't make a team or a musical, etc. There is something out there that needs you, but it hasn't found you yet. Try 1,000 hobbies, (or try 1,000 with your child) and pick a few you (or they) can stick to, that makes (them) you feel good about (themselves) yourself.
