"Find a passion and pursue it"... this is what I am reading at the moment on my wall hanging on my office (at home) as I am writing this. This office did not exist nearly 60 days ago. Although, it is not much of an office (I admit), and- don't get me wrong, I do complete work in here, I just (kinda/ sorta) am currently not really making any money on the things I am working on. Disappointing, huh? Well, not necessarily! Don't stop reading yet, because at the end, you'll understand why I wrote about not making money...
As I was working out last night/ learning a new choreography for my Turbo Kick class, Chalene Johnson (creator of Turbo Kick) stated in the beginning of the DVD... "if you don't feel like working out, at least try doing the warm up section, and once you start moving you may just change your mind..." How true is that? I think that is kind of what got me moving- not just working out. Accomplishing one goal sort of led into setting another, and another, and another...
To give you some kind of background on myself, I should confess my profession- I am a full time Social Worker currently working in the Mental Health Field (I start a new job this week as a Child Screener). I spent nearly 7 years of my life, studying this field, interning, and also working in this field before I finally graduated with my Master's Degree, and began working full time (in 2009). Before Social Work, and even while in college, I was a pretty "happy - go - lucky" person. As far as my health- I was running in 5k's , 8k's, and taking aerobics classes nearly 4 nights per week! As far as Social Work, I enjoy what I do for the most part. I can not say that I hate this career path I have chosen. At some point, something happened though- (for the sake of this blog- we will call it a "satisfaction tank'), my "satisfaction tank" was not being filled. Some days are rewarding and wonderful, but most days are draining, exhausting, and frustrating, (not necessarily because of what I do) but because of the things in the background... the politics, if you will. I am not an unrealistic person, and understand that every job comes with it's fair share of stress... but something just didn't feel right in my life (and that's just me). In the summer of 2010, I can honestly say things just got worse. My moods, and emotions were just out of whack, continuing into the fall of 2010 when I began to seek counseling, and actually attempted a few rounds of antidepressants. My way of coping with my stress was to go out for dinner, order food, or cook a big unhealthy dinner. I would leave the office on lunch to get fast food, or bring in left over pizza from the night before. I was trying desperately to fill my "satisfaction tank"... which only left me more unsatisfied because I would go to bed at night feeling guilty, and ashamed of my unhealthy patterns.
This past fall (2011) I was the most I had ever weighed, almost 172. None of my clothes fit, and I dreaded buying all new pants in a snug size 14. What I looked like, didn't even compare to how I felt- not only about my self, but my life in general. I thought to myself- if nothing about your job/ career is going to change, you are going to have to start working on other areas of your life!!! So many times, I wanted to shake myself and say, "WAKE UP"!. I run group therapy sessions and have done so for almost 3 years now. How many times did I sit in a group and preach to practice good self care? To do more of what you enjoy, to create a daily plan and incorporate things that make you happy into it. I could go on, and on because I nearly have those groups/ lectures memorized!
In a desperate attempt to make things better, I joined a 90 day fitness challenge in November 2011. I laugh thinking because number 1, I really didn't want to spend the money on it, but the week prior to the challenge, I probably spent $30 going out to eat, having my last "hoorah" before I began. I won't go into detail on my challenge- but just a quick run down, I had an online support group, an at home workout program, a meal plan, a personal coach, and a shake that I drank daily. The structure that this added to my life was unbelievable. I made this a priority every single day- because I knew it was making me feel better! The motivation from the positive other- like-minded individuals in my group was a life saver for me. When I didn't feel like working out, we all motivated each other. When I had big temptations in front of me, I got support. When I gave in to temptation and wanted to give up.... we helped each other get back on track. The healthy habits I created which improved my mood was just like this little tiny push I needed that eventually led me down a completely different life path. I thought to myself, "hell- if I hit my goal of another pound lost, I can start applying for new jobs", "if I can do 20 squats now, I can do this". You hear about a moment of clarity... I was having many, many moments, and my wheels were turning about the goals I wanted to accomplish. Why do I allow myself to be miserable in my career??... was the biggest question I asked myself.
I would set my mind on little mini goals to accomplish. My first one was to get certified to teach my favorite form of aerobic exercise, "Turbo Kick" by Powder Blue Productions. I registered for the certification (a 9 hour day in a town nearly 2 hours away). I signed up with intentions of going with a friend, and when my friend could not attend... (the old "me" would have not gone), I went anyway!
The next thing I decided to do was become a coach just like the one I had in my 90 day fitness challenge, I signed up for that and am currently working on a web page for this business.
After signing up as a coach, I knew I would need the computer more, and using it on the couch in our living room was not working out so well, so I took on the huge unbearable task of cleaning out our mini spare room (which was previously a mess of a closet)... clothes occupying all corners, and all over the floor. It was converted (with the help of my wonderful fiance) into an office within a week!
Well, of course I wanted to use my Turbo Kick Certification to teach aerobics classes. I checked out a old dance studio for rent in Sinclairville (which is only about 10 minutes from where I currently reside)... and thought about somehow renting it to teach a variety of classes. I put together a dream board of what I wanted to offer, memberships, classes, a shake/ water bar, etc. Unfortunately, there are lots of mini steps I need to take before I even begin to pursue this... and it just doesn't happen over night. Could I even break even paying $350 a month in rent? And I certainely can not quit my full time job... and then how would I have the time to teach classes, and devote to this studio? It was discouraging. Then I realized... I didn't lose my 25 lbs overnight. This was something that would need to start slow, and build.... and this is currently what I am working on.
Right now, I currently teach Turbo Kick at the local high school to build experience and clientele two nights per week. I have a small online 90 day challenge group with about 6 ladies in it. I continue with the coaching, and I am saving $ to make my dream come true, breaking things into small pieces... CPR certification, AFAA Primary Group Exercise Certification, PiYo Strength Certification, etc. etc. these are all goals in progress. March 31, 2012 I am throwing my first "Fitness Party" to explain my coaching and do a Turbo Kick Class to get people interested in what I am pursuing. I enlisted help to build my own website, and working on this goal is what keeps me sane, it is what makes my other "job" aka career more enjoyable because I know I can come home and be happy, and that someday this WILL become a reality.
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