Kicking off the running season

As I sit here with the AC on and in some comfy/cozy clothes, dog by bare feet... I am reflecting upon how sore I am going to be tomorrow. Today was my first race of the summer season. The Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure in Buffalo, NY (5k). It was about 80 degrees and muggy today. An overwhelming 4,000 or so particpants came to support the cause, and what a great cause it was. I raced on Team Coia (in memory of Olivia Coia)... and although I did not know her well... I was glad I could drive out to be with the people who did know her. It was touching to see the Team Coia green tee shirts with pink ribbons on them, and all of the other runners with papers clipped to their back that were "in memory" of someone they knew who had passed... or "in celebration of..." someone they knew that was a survivor.

When I got to the end of mile 2, I just wanted to walk. So I did let my self walk for a bit... when I began running, I wasn't sure if I could continue... but reading the back of everyone's shirt really seemed to keep me jogging.

I finished in approximately 31 minutes-- I'll check my official time as soon as it's posted on the web tomorrow or Monday. Although it was not my best running time for a 5k... I was glad I was able to join the team.

Next race: Laurel Run 8k (July 17th), followed by the Cameron Run 5k (August). Come join me!

What I want

Not sure when this began happening... Nearly everyone I graduated with has a child, not to mention nearly everyone younger then me now has a child.

Although I feel as though my life is getting more stable (I have my Master's Degree, a decent job, I have found the right guy-- but not yet married, I live on my own), there are still sooooo many things that have to fall into place before I can afford a child!

I am drowning in student loans (probably like most people my age), and a tiny bit of credit card debt as well. I barely make enough to afford my apartment and put groceries in it. I am behind on several utility bills, and my car is about to be layed to rest any day now. On that note, how in the world will I afford a new car!? And I can bet my credit score isn't too hot at the moment.

Although I believe I have found the "right guy", we aren't engaged or ready for that yet. We have been together over 3 years, and although I'll be 26 soon, my significant other still has a year left of school to finish. Then we'll be drowning even more in student loans! HA!

So let's imagine I did get engaged, how in the world would I... #1- expect my significant other to afford a ring, #2- afford a wedding, #3- get a house..... because I most certainely can NOT have a baby in an apartment even though there is an extra bedroom. Our neighbors can't even stand if we close our door the wrong way- let alone a crying baby!

In conclusion, I probably won't be having a child until I am about 40. I envy all of those who I went to school with who are able to make this dream happen. Maybe you can give me some tips on how to move this along quicker.

Tentative Race Schedule

1st Race: Sunday March 28, 2010- Bemus Point 5k.
2nd Race: Saturday May 22, 2010- Frewsberg 5k (for Shriner's Hospitals)
3rd Race: Saturday June 12, 2010- Susan G. Koman Race for the Cure 5k Buffalo, NY
4th Race: Saturday July 10, 2010- Tom Drake Memorial Run 5k (Mayville, NY)
5th Race: Saturday July 17, 2010- Laurel Run 8k (Silver Creek, The Resource Center)
6th Race: Saturday Aug 14, 2010- Cameron Run 5k (Dunkirk, for the Ronald McDonald House)
7th Race: Saturday Sept 18, 2010- Bemus Point 5k
8th Race: Saturday Sept 25, 2010- Liberty Run 5k (Jamestown Audubon)
8th Race: Saturday Oct. 2, 2010- The Fred Ruterbusch Memorial 5k Run (Fredonia State)
9th Race: Saturday Oct. 9, 2010- Fall Festival 5k (Ellicotville, NY- Holiday Valley)
10th Race: Saturday Nov. 25, 2010- YMCA Annual Turkey Trot 8k (Buffalo, NY)

If you have any other suggestions for races that you know about or you know are a lot of fun... let me know!!! I'll try to add them to the schedule!

I need a vacation

I will need to take a vacation for my own mental wellness this spring. I am thinking sometime around May would be excellent. I am on a strict budget for this vacation and would love to go somewhere particularly warm! Considering a cruise at this point... maybe to the Bahama's. I can't say it enough- how excited I will be when Chris graduates from school! (May 2011) This will be a wonderful day!

With both of us being able to make decent money, our lives will greatly improve!!! For now, it is a struggle. It is like running up a big mountain with nothing/ nobody giving you that extra push you need.

In May of 2011 another vacation will be in order, and this time... I am thinking... Quebec, Stockholm, or Ireland. Suggestions?

Catch me if you can

I am setting a goal. Chris (my boyfriend) announced to me a few days ago that he would like to start running again. I was psyched! I ran 5 races in the summer of 2008 (all fundraiser/charity races). I can name all of them: Firecracker run (2 miles) July 4, Laurel Run 8k, Cameron Run 5k, Liberty Trail Run 5k (for the Jamestown Audubon Center & Sanctuary), and the Fall Festival 5k run at Holiday Valley. Between May, 2010 and November 2010... I plan on running more than 5 races this time, and have Chris run most of them with me! Of course, my running partner, Katherine will hopefully join us for these races as well. I'll post our results and reactions after each race on my blog. Now, off to the gym in a bit to continue to prepare my body for a summer of running! If anyone has any fun races to suggest, let me know... I do prefer smaller races. However; I will be running the Turkey Trot 8k annually which is HUGE (12,000 runners this year!) but it is quite fun... so that race is my "big race" exception. Happy running!

Guilty Pleasures

How is it that I am totally addicted to Beverly Hills 90210 reruns? I have fallen into a VERY predictable routine after work. I ate/ prepare dinner right when I get home... mostly because I eat an early lunch and I am usually hungry for dinner early. I eat at around 4:30pm. I get online and browse around for a bit and avoid any kind of stressors... that includes the pile of bills sitting next to me as I type this right now. At precisely 5:00pm I turn to channel 64 and watch my one episode of 90210, and regretfully it is just ONE episode now and not two like they were playing about two months ago. I didn't like this change, not ONE BIT!!!

Between 6:00pm and 7:00pm I usually let the dog out and take a nap. At 7:00pm or 7:30 (depending on which night it is) I go to aerobics. Monday and Wednesday it is at 7:30pm (Turbo Jam) and Tuesday and Thursdays it is at 7:00pm (Tae Box). I have become so predictable, that I am now becoming very stubborn when any of this gets thrown off. For example, two weeks ago on a Thursday, I was asked to help the local girl scout troop earn a Jewelry Making badge. I jumped at the opportunity and was excited to help out! Thursday came and all I could think about was how that event was going to interfere with my tae box class! Ugh, I am practically disgusted with myself that I have become so unwilling to adapt to any kind of change! What am I, 80 years old!?

I need something new to change things up, or maybe I'll start small and add a new addition to my routine... Suggestions are welcome, and I'll keep you posted with my ideas....

Food Addiction

So Saturday's seem to be my blog days. One of the groups I run is a chemical/ alcohol addiction group. We were talking about relapse dreams yesterday. Having a dream of using again and waking up not sure if it was real or not.

I have been on weight watchers for about 15 weeks now. I regretfully gained almost 35 lbs when I moved in with my boyfriend last year. Can food be an addiction? Sure, it is different then drugs and alcohol... but honestly I felt like it was from oh about April 2009- September 2009. I have been doing pretty well so far and I have lost 18 lbs. I am still about ten pounds away from my goal weight and I am at a standstill, and have been for about 2 weeks!

While talking about relapse dreams yesterday, I could not stop thinking about the dreams I have had about food. Going to bed and my stomach was growling, watching tempting pizza hut commercials before bed, and dreaming that I just ate all of those delicious foods- then waking up thinking- CRAP! I had a feast yesterday and sabotaged my diet! Then I quickly am able to set my self straight.

So in the midst of thinking about relapse dreams, I came home from work and ate a bunch of chips and chocolate. YIKES! Today, it is back on track and since I am at a "standstill" point, I have to push myself a little harder at the gym.

I honestly don't know how those with chemical/ alcohol addiction do it. I really admire their strength and lifelong recovery commitment.

Being Briana

I love the show "Being Erica". Maybe it has something to do with the therapist in the show having the powers to take Erica into her past to re-do some of her significant regrets... and being a therapist myself, sometimes I wish I had a magic wand for some of the people I work with as well. Maybe it has something to do with envying Erica... as there are a few things I would like to go back and re-do myself.

So how do we cope with regrets without having the power to go back and re-do things? I am sure it is different for everyone. If not having gone through some regrets would I really be who I am today? Probably not, therefore I would not be "Being Briana". Should we really be thinking about our regrets right now, or is that going to make us miss today therefore resulting in more regrets- that we wasted time focusing on the past and things we can not change while missing the present moment.

Today the sun is shining, and I am not going to sit inside and regret not taking advantage of it! :) Enjoy your day!

Why the title?

So two posts in one day. Don't get used to this, it will wear off soon just like anything new... it is exciting at first then gradually it's just there in the background.

I need to provide an explanation: Capturing Moments of....... So all week I at work I have worn myself thin talking about "Capturing moments of happiness". However, my title, happiness has been replaced by the ever soooo important and mysterious .............. . Realistically, I knew that every blog would not be able to capture a "moment of happiness", althought I am a optimistic person, I am also real and experience real things good and bad.

So what is it for you that brings you a moment of happiness? This morning, it was taking my first sip of coffee.... it brought me pleasure. This was a moment of happiness. Small moment? Yes. Seems kind of silly? Probably. But these moments can be small1 Maybe it was getting the laundry done- feeling accomplished can give us a moment of happiness. What are they for you? Maybe it is hearing a baby laughing that brings you enjoyment- that is a moment of happiness. How do you capture your moments? Do you put them in your memory box so you can recall them at a later time when you need a little smile or "pick me up?". Do you try to repeat them again as to create a similar moment to bring those feelings back? I am going to create more moments of happiness this evening and head to the gym. Doing something healthy for myself is going to create another one of those moments for me. Go enjoy your moments.....

Giving this a shot..... (me in a nutshell)

Well it's my first blog... how exciting is that?? I think the best way to start this process is to set up a backdrop of my life. Most of you probably know, I am a Social Worker. My official title at my job is "Mental Health Clinician II" (if we want to get technical). Ok, Ok.... so many people ask what a "social worker" is... and NO it's not just, "one of those nice people that help people". http://burnedoutsocialworker.blogspot.com/2009/01/you-know-you-are-social-worker-if.html check that out to see if it gives you a better idea. First, you will most likely get a bacheolrs in Social Work or BSW (this is a generalist degree) prepares you for many different fields/ aspects whether you are interested in Child Welfare, geriatrics, Mental Health, Schools, etc. Eventually you'll then get the Masters in Social Work, this is when you can really focus on what area you want to work in and essentially develop an expertise for it. My courses were in the Mental Health Concentration and my field work was at a School. When all is said and done, you end up doing OHHHHH.... a good 1125 hours of field work in a course of about 6-8 years or so. Then you take a 4 hour, 200 question exam for your boards to get licensed to practice (I am in the process of registering for this... and believe me, I'll keep you posted.

No matter what you call it, I value my work. I put all personal issues aside while I am at work to perform my duties. It is peoples lives that I work with and I MUST take it very seriously. If you could take a glimpse into my day, most of you that know me very well might be shocked. I facilitate group therapy, and I am not shy about it. I talk about issues that might make some of you feel uncomfortable, it is quite an interesting job... and I love it. I don't check stocks, or check business books, I check the DSM IV. I have to use creativity and make very difficult decisions sometimes. Do I get stressed? Well, of course! But it is all very worth it. Prior to this, I worked in Child Protection for the county and Foster Care... all valuable experiences.

So, my family? I am the youngest of three girls in my family. I have one sister in a different State and another 30 minutes away. My parents are also 30 minutes away and still married after 39 years and 5 months! I stay here in Western, NY because I want to raise my future family here someday and have them close to their Grandparents.

School? I am FINALLY done with school after 6 years. So why mention it you might ask? Well, obviously it has gotten me where I am today and I honestly never thought it would end! Even taking a year off inbetween and going through some personal issues and finding the strength to go back has morphed me into who I am today. So, I always have a spot for JCC, Fredonia State, and University at Buffalo. My lifelong goal is to teach in a Social Work program someday and that is another reason I cling to my memories from school.

Lastly, my boyfriend, Chris. We live together with our dog, Ladybug. Chris is finishing school for Social Work and I am so glad we have this in common with one another. He is going to make an excellent Social Worker someday (please don't mind if I use "excellent" a lot, I use it way too much at work and it has slipped into my every minute vocabulary).

Is my life perfect? No! Whos is? I am learning every single day, and I want to share with you what I learn. Thanks for reading.....